Look, we all know that once you hit a certain age – let's call it the "cart-path-only-is-a-suggestion" phase – the body starts staging a quiet rebellion. Your back groans like an ancient oak in a hurricane, your knees make noises that could be mistaken for a small mammal being aggressively unzipped, and the idea of bending over to pick up a tee feels like a particularly cruel practical joke. Yet, Vijay Singh, bless his apparently immortal ligaments, is out there at 63, still making golf balls do his bidding. Forget existential dread; this man is too busy figuring out how to get his irons to cooperate even when the thermometer's decided to take a vacation to Antarctica.
He snagged the SAS Championship by two shots over Ernie Els, which, knowing Singh, probably involved a fair amount of gritting his teeth and muttering things only he and his caddy understand. He admitted it was a “tough year” and his back "doesn't do very well in cold," which, frankly, is the most relatable thing I've heard from a pro golfer since someone complained about the buffet being too far from the 18th green. While Bernhard Langer is out there setting records for being the oldest, most consistent golfer since, well, ever, Singh’s win – his first in three years and sixth on this senior tour – just proves that some guys are less like fine wine and more like a really, really stubborn weed that refuses to die.
The rest of the field, as usual, provided the supporting chaos. Ernie Els, a man built like a friendly bulldozer, had to settle for second place, a role he seems to wear like a slightly ill-fitting tuxedo. Then there was Tim O’Neal, whose bunker shot decided to go on a spontaneous, and frankly, embarrassing, detour through the water hazard. It’s the golf equivalent of accidentally sending a text meant for your spouse to your boss. One man’s spectacular failure is another’s quiet victory, I suppose. Matthew Goggin, meanwhile, managed to secure his spot in the postseason, which means he gets to keep playing this maddeningly beautiful game a little longer. Good for him.