The Open Championship: Not Even Close to the British Open

Look, I get it. You’re from the States, you’ve got your own little golf scene over there, and you’re trying to play along. But calling the oldest major the “British Open”? That’s about as accurate as calling a well-struck drive a “fluffy cloud.” The actual name, the one the suits at St. Andrews have been using since, well, forever, is The Open Championship. It’s a name that screams “everyone’s invited!” – provided you can actually hit the damn ball more than 150 yards and don’t mind wind that could strip paint off a battleship. It’s a test of skill, a test of nerve, and mostly, a test of how many layers you can wear before you start looking like the Michelin Man. Frankly, I’m more optimistic about my chances of winning the lottery than some folks are about remembering the correct name.