You know, golf. It’s a game where the most dignified-looking folks can turn into toddlers over a divot, and this year’s Open Championship has been a masterclass in that particular brand of absurdity. Our very own beefy American hero, Bryson DeChambeau, got himself tangled up in a rules mess at Royal Birkdale, so hairy it apparently made him think about dialing up the White House.
The whole brouhaha stemmed from Bryson’s rather… vigorous attempt to free his ball from the clutches of the rough. Now, I’m not saying it wasn’t a Herculean effort, but apparently, the golf gods frowned upon his methods, slapping him with a two-stroke penalty for “improving his lie.” Bryson’s reaction? A full-blown theatrical meltdown that would make Shakespeare proud. Word on the street was he was ready to call the former President.
And wouldn’t you know it, Donald Trump, in a rare moment of presidential golf commentary, did weigh in. He called the penalty a “tough call,” adding that he saw “a lot of people there walking around looking for their ball in weeds.” You know, the kind of thing you see when you’re out there, really feeling the grass. What others saw as a clear rule violation, the former President apparently saw as just a bit of bad luck, the golf equivalent of a stubbed toe.
Trump, who fancies himself less a fixer and more a sports judge these days, even brought up his recent football pronouncements. He compared Bryson’s situation to a red card in the World Cup, hinting that his advice had led to a “brilliant” outcome last time. The subtle difference between offering advice and demanding a do-over? Apparently, it’s as clear as a freshly mown fairway.
But hold on, the R&A’s Chief Executive, Mark Darbon, was quick to hose down any notions of presidential interference. He flat-out stated that no such call to the big man’s office happened. The ruling, he explained with that unshakeable logic only governing bodies possess, was “clear-cut” and all about keeping the championship honest. I suspect Bryson’s dramatic lament out on the course, while probably good for his blood pressure, didn’t exactly change anyone’s mind.
Even Bryson himself grumbled that the penalty was unfair, but some of his peers weren’t exactly shedding tears. Rory McIlroy, bless his insightful, slightly world-weary soul, called Bryson’s antics “performative” and a bid for attention. Ouch. But honestly? It probably hit the nail on the head for a lot of us watching.
So, what do we learn from this whole kerfuffle? That even in the hushed halls of golf, where tradition reigns supreme, the human element – the drama, the desperate need for validation, whether from a ref or a former president – is always lurking, ready to put on a spectacular show.