Forget slow play, folks. The real menace to golf’s pristine image, according to Brooks Koepka, is the very ground we walk on. Apparently, the greens are now the enemy. Brooks, bless his blunt heart, has decided the problem isn’t the guys taking an eternity to line up a putt; it’s the divots. No, not divots from errant tee shots, but the little churned-up patches near the hole left by… well, by people trying to read the greens. He’s “not a huge fan,” which is Koepka-speak for "this is driving me absolutely bonkers."
His particular ire is directed at the AimPoint technique. You know the one: the whole elaborate dance of straddling the line, feeling the slope with your feet, and then, presumably, doing a little jig before you finally commit to the stroke. He claims it's wreaking havoc, especially on firm greens on a Sunday, after a week of everyone else having already stomped their way through the same sensitive patches.
The logic, he argues, is simple: more players doing the AimPoint shimmy in the same three-foot radius means more trampled turf. It’s like a herd of particularly indecisive wildebeest all converging on the same watering hole, except the watering hole is a three-footer for birdie. And the grass, well, it’s not exactly thrilled about the foot traffic.
Now, here’s where it gets truly delightful. Koepka himself has admitted to dabbling in AimPoint. He even called it a "double check" that saved his knees. But then, in true Brooks fashion, he confessed he was "winging it." So, we have a guy complaining about a technique he apparently didn't even master, all while admitting it helped him. It's a masterclass in self-ownage.
This whole kerfuffle just adds another glorious layer to the AimPoint saga. It’s always been about the clock, but now it’s about the actual dirt. Some purists want it outlawed entirely. Others, like Collin Glover, find it "kind of rude." Even Jim Nantz, the man who could make a root canal sound soothing, is apparently not a fan. But then you've got guys like Morikawa, who treat it like gospel.
Koepka's proposed solution? Just hit it harder. Because, naturally, the answer to a chewed-up green is to just smash the ball into it with all the finesse of a runaway bulldozer. So, the next time you’re staring down a treacherous little putt on a green that looks like it lost a fight with a flock of angry geese, just channel your inner Koepka. What could possibly go wrong?